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• BRITNEY SPEARS BOYTOY DENIES VIDEOS
• Christina Aguilera out on Saturday

Even though Germans manage to date chicks that typically have mustaches and drink a lot of beer, they still don’t want Britney Spears hanging out. So she’s coming home, which comes shortly after her disastrous performance on Britain’s X Factor and The Bambi Awards. Terrific. Now that she is back, the paparazzi can come back from vacation. I wonder how many photographers burned up all their sick days on this deal? Anyways, Britney is back. Her new single and video is out. Go check it out.

Or not.

More Britney Spears pictures.

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• Britney’s Album to Be Named ‘Blackout’
• Britney Turns Suicidal Over Custody Battle

The rumor that Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom are getting married is apparently one big elaborate hoax. Thank God for this, I was beginning to lose hope. Yes, hope for me, jerk….I get hot chicks also, although mostly on the Internet or in Second Life. I pull tons of chicks in Second Life. Ok, I should stop now. Anyways, check out what People Magazine had to say about this wonderful news!

A rep for Bloom’s girlfriend Miranda Kerr is knocking down a report in the Australian media Sunday that the Pirates of the Caribbean star and the model are engaged.
“The story … is completely false and misleading,” the rep says. “Miranda herself has clearly stated she is not engaged. There is nothing else to be said.”
But while they’re not making marriage plans at present, Bloom, 31, and Kerr, 25, are still very much a couple, and Kerry recently spoke about someday settling down with a special someone and having kids.

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• Australian Model Refuses involvement with Bloom
• Miranda Kerr Against Split Rumors!

If Paris Hilton isn’t jealous of her former BFF Nicole RItchie parading around town as mother of the year (which she most likely isn’t), well then she could and should be jealous of Nicole Ritchie’s brand new caboose. Equipped with a lot of sexy round curves. That’s right, Nicole Ritchie, the former profesional non-eater, is now banging in the buttocks region. You go girl.

Paris, might be time for you to get knocked up. Although, no one should trust you with a baby so just have it and then give it away to the Spears family.

More pictures of Nicole Ritchie’s bottom.

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• Nicole Ritchie Says DUI Arrest Was a Wake Up Call
• Nicole Ritchie Sentenced to 4 Minutes, I Mean Days of Prison for DUI

Giants star wideout Plaxico Burress will surrender tomorrow morning to NYPD detectives, who will charge him with felony criminal possession of a weapon, authorities said today.

Burress, 31, accidentally shot himself in the right thigh early Saturday morning at Midtown nightclub Latin Quarter with a gun he was not legally permitted to carry, police sources said.

He also faces a possible charge of reckless endangerment.

“We will make arrangements for Mr. Burress to be present when required,” defense lawyer Benjamin Brafman said after spending an hour at the troubled player’s Totowa, N.J., home. “He’s not running away from this.

“He intends to deal with this responsibly, and we hope it works out in the end. I would ask that the public, the Giants, the media and everybody else withhold judgment.

“He’s presumed innocent, hasn’t been convicted of anything, and we have a long road ahead of us.”

Police had yet to recover the gun Burress brought into the Lexington Avenue club.

Burress arrived at the club with teammates Antonio Pierce and Derrick Ward around midnight, and was allowed to bring his weapon inside after going through a metal detector and being frisked, sources said.

A short time later, as he was being escorted upstairs to the VIP area, the gun became loose in his waistband and a round went off. He was shot through the same injured thigh which had already kept him out of today’s 23-7 victory over the Washington Redskins.

Burress refused medical care at the club and left with his teammates, turning up two hours later at New York Hospital, where he spent the next 12 hours. The hospital and club never reported the shooting to the police.

New York Hospital continued to deny that Buress was a patient there.

When asked about the hospital’s policy on reporting gunshot victims to the police - as the law requires - spokesman Bryan Dotson said, “I don’t know what the policy and protocal is on that.”

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• Christina Aguilera: “Inspired” to Record After Having Baby
• Demi Moore’s daughters know it all

Leonardo DiCaprio has put his Malibu estate up for sale at the king-of-the-world price of just under $9 million.

Featuring a two-bedroom, two-bath main house and a guesthouse with two one-bedroom suites, the private paparazzi-proof bluff-top property offers a stairway-to-the-sea to a secluded cove, the Los Angeles Times reports.

Other amenities include a steam shower in the bathroom, a four-car garage and a big yard. The exact listing price is $8,999,000.

DiCaprio, 34, next appears in Revolutionary Road, a holiday film that reunites him with Titanic costar Kate Winslet.

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• Leonardo DiCaprio the Bachelor?
• LEONARDO DICAPRIO MEETS NYC POLICE

Ricki Lake has trimmed 140 lbs. from her all-time top weight of 270 pounds – and says she is holding steady.

“I can’t believe I was a fat person for most of my life,” the former talk show host, rocking a sexy black Herve Leger dress (size small), told PEOPLE at a recent benefit for the New Space for Women’s Health, a New York City birthing center slated to open in 2010.

“I didn’t have surgery and I worked hard. There’s no secret. I’m active. I watch what I eat,” Lake, 40, adds.

But she’s certainly not immune to the pressure to stay thin. “According to Hollywood standards, I’m not a thin girl. I’m a normal girl,” says the mom of two boys, Milo, 11, and Owen, 6. “I don’t want to perpetuate that obsession but yet I am also guilty of wanting … to lose weight.”

“I’m just grateful that I have sons and not daughters because it’s that much harder,” she says.

Lake sticks to meals delivered by a service called Fresh Dining (”It’s organic, it’s fresh, and I still love it,” she says) but admits unpredictable factors in life could one day interfere.

“With the weight stuff I don’t have any answers,” she says. “Something tragic in my life could happen and I could balloon and gain weight. I can’t promise I will be like this forever.”

Recently, Lake has been focusing on making a sequel to her 2007 documentary The Business of Being Born, and is working on a guide to pregnancy, due out in May.

And with the holidays in full swing? “I will be really conscious because I have this book coming out and I want to look great,” she says. “I don’t need to lose anymore weight. [But] I don’t want to go backwards. So I’m not going to pig out this Christmas.”

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• Christina Aguilera: “Inspired” to Record After Having Baby
• All is forgiven; McCain returning to Letterman

I think we can put those rumors that Angelina Jolie is expecting her 7th child, fourth natural to rest. She didn’t look pregnant as she took her first Maddox toy shopping in New Orleans.

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• Angelina Jolie Pregnant
• Is Angelina Jolie Pregnant With Twins?

Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey Jr has had its share of accidents and it is not even done filming. Leading The Sun to think this movie might be cursed…

The cast and crew first wondered if they had a mystery fit for legendary detective Holmes on their hands when ROBERT DOWNEY JR was knocked out by a 7ft wrestler.

Then yesterday, he and JUDE LAW, 35 — who plays his sidekick Dr Watson — had to flee the set with Ritchie when a petrol tanker exploded in a fireball.

The Iron Man actor, 43, was knocked unconscious by 25-stone co-star ROBERT MAILLET during a fight scene.

Downey Jr — who plays the famous detective — was “out cold” for six seconds and “drooling blood” before medics could bring him round.

A nurse on set at Chatham dockyard in Kent gave him six stitches in his mouth.

I wonder if Madonna put a curse on his film? Joking!

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• Guy Ritchie has already moved on!
• ROBERT DOWNEY JR. CALLS STARS ZOMBIES

The Canadian 90210ers from the new and old one were reunited at the Gemini Awards in Canada. It is nice to see Jason Preistley clean shaven! Hopefully he will keep this new look!!!

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• Jason Priestly returning to 90210 2.0 too?
• MTV The Hills Star Jason Wahler Being Sued From Last Year’s Arrest

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes took their kids Suri, Connor and Isabella and David and Beckham and Victoria Beckham took their boys Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz to the circus in NYC today. It is nice to Tom Cruise actually fly his other kids out for Thanksgiving.

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• Beckhams join the Cruises to celebrate Thanksgiving as rift appears to be healed
• Is Posh Victoria Beckham Pregnant?????

How cool is it to see William Shatner andLeonard Nimoy aka Captain Kirk and Mr Spock together!!! 

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• Get Over It William Shatner
• KIRK DOUGLAS OPENS 400TH PLAYGROUND

DIRTY Dancing star Patrick Swayze has reportedly taken a turn for the worse and started saying goodbye to loved ones after learning his cancer has spread.

The Dirty Dancing and Ghost star, who in January was told he had pancreatic cancer, has started preparing himself for death, reports say

“Patrick recently got word that the cancer had spread to his liver and that is what his doctors said would begin the countdown to the end,” a source told National Enquirer magazine.

“Patrick knew it was coming because he was suffering increased weakness.

“At times, he was so weak that he could barely walk without feeling faint. Sometimes he feels out of breath and has to sit down.”

Swayze, 56, told Lisa, his wife of 33 years, and his brother Donny that he doesn’t have long to live.

“Lisa phoned Donny in Los Angeles and told him he need to come to Chicago, where Patrick has been filming TV show The Beast. She was crying and scared Donny to death,” the source told National Enquirer.

“Donny got the impression his brother was already on his deathbed because Lisa was saying Patrick wanted to say goodbye. She couldn’t stop crying.”

Swayze has been undergoing pioneering Cyberknife radiotherapy at California’s Stamford University Medical Centre, and had been making a steady recovery from the illness.

He has finished filming The Beast in Chicago, where he has been putting in 12-hour days. He went to a party earlier this week to celebrate with Lisa and Donny.

He stayed for one-and-a-quarter hours sitting on a couch the entire time, happily talking to people.

Swayze’s wife “mingled a little more than Patrick did, leaving the couch to grab a drink or talk to people, but mostly she remained at his side” a source told the US magazine.

“Patrick let the party-goers come to him, never circulating around the room and rarely even standing up, but when others did come to him, he chatted at length with many of them.”

In October, his production team reported Swayze had missed only a day and a half of work.

“I’m still fine to work, I haven’t changed - oh, I have changed, what am I saying? It’s a battle zone I go through. Chemo, no matter how you cut it, is hell on wheels,” he told The New York Times.

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• Expect some below-the-belt humor when Homer Simpson undergoes a colonoscopy
• PATRICK SWAYZE TOLD TO QUIT SMOKING

It looks as though genetically-blessed duo Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are going stronger than ever, but is Miss Minnillo ready to take the next step? The Tinseltown twosome snuck into Christina Aguilera’s Target Terrace AMAs party at and stood by each other’s side throughout the evening. According to an inside source, Ness did some hinting while hitting the dancefloor during Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.”

“Vanessa was dancing and joking about putting a ring on her finger,” said the eyewitness. “She was pointing to her ring finger! The two were very happy and sipping champagne together.” Awww.

Other guests included rekindled romancers Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman as well as Xtina herself, Sarah McLachlan, David Archuleta, Tyrese Gibson and JC

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• Vanessa Minnillo’s Prenup Problems
• Vanessa and Nick Battle Over Reality Show

JON Peters has been hit with a shocking new barrage of sex charges - this time by a male staffer who claims the powerful Hollywood producer of “Superman Returns” and “Ali” sexually roughed him up and threatened to break his legs.

In a lawsuit filed this week in Los Angeles Superior Court, Brian Quintana - a co-producer with Peters on the upcoming “Superman: Man of Steel” - alleges that Peters subjected him to “continuous and pervasive sexual harassment.”

The suit states there were “multiple instances where he was physically, sexually harassed by Peters, including being groped by male individuals at Peters’ behest.” Peters would “wrestle and rough up [Quintana] in a sexual manner . . . fondle himself in front of [Quintana] . . . often place his hand on [Quintana’s] leg in a sexual manner,” as well as “touch” his buttocks, the suit alleges.

In addition, according to the suit, Peters demanded that Quintana “drive male individuals onto the set for the purposes of granting sexual favors for members of the cast and crew [and] cover up allegations that . . . Peters engaged in sexually inappropriate acts in front of children.”

Quintana, in the court papers, also charges that Peters threatened to “break his legs” and fired him after he refused to “perjure himself” by signing documents stating that Peters had completed community service for a DUI conviction.

Peters, a one-time boyfriend of Barbra Streisand, is already being sued by two female former staffers who claim that he sexually harassed them. One, Blanca Hernandez, claims that Peters touched her breasts and buttocks, tried to push her onto his bed when he was naked, tried to kiss her breasts and offered her money for sex.

Peters’ office number has been disconnected. His lawyer, Stephen Kolodny, did not return calls yesterday.

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• Christina Aguilera: “Inspired” to Record After Having Baby
• Expect some below-the-belt humor when Homer Simpson undergoes a colonoscopy